Next Wednesday, Bill Burr is back on #CONAN. #TheHeat (at Warner Bros Stage 15)
Keep it going. 10 million by election day!
THE MOST POPULAR POST ON TUMBLR.
This one’s for bronco bama.
gotta hit that number
glady gladly glady will pass it on. i miss the simple stupidity of…
Well that’s easy enough.
might as well.
damn they don’t bake them like this anymore
Take your cookies and throw ‘em up like you bulimicwhat is this omg ajanlkads
No one man should have all that POWDER
Yo Kanye, I’m real happy for you and your Christmas cookies and Imma let you finish but um. Martha Stewart has some of the best frosted sugar cookies of all time.
I’m a-glazing, I’m the reason, That my block smells so sweet this evening
These are frosted, Time to eat them, Don’t you even think about leaving
No matter what you’ll never make food so sweet, sugar as far as the eyes can see
I gotta testify, I make the best cookies, my cakes are fly…, before the day I fry, I’ma bake a pie
Back when they they thought pillsbury would hurt the pot, before Martha was on lock, the oven door closed, I felt like Gordon Ramsey, the kitchen was too hot. Now lets bake…take em back in the day, I was fucking up my creme brulee, any other Chef couldn’t compare to me,shut your face before you deflate my souffle!
she said she want some ice cream cake, some sugar cookies, a couple of brownies would really set this party off right (Are you gonna bake, are you gonna bake, are you gonna bake, are you gonna bake, are you gonna bake? Well well well well well)
Im not baking youuuuuuu, the way i wanted toooooooo.
What I had to doooooo, had to bake more fooooooooooood.
I was baking youuuuuuuu, set the timer wrooooooong.
Burnt smell haunting meeeeeeee, through my whole hoooooooooome.
YES. ALL OF THE WIN FOR THIS POST.
Two words, Aisle five, cooked pies, food dye, cuz I rep that ‘til I fucking fry….
She said Ye can we get cherries to top it off ? i said, bitch you need to frost before you broil.
But if Black folks did this it’d be called “ratchet” and “ghetto”…by white people who have no idea of how to use either of those terms in the correct context.
^This is totally the truth.
And if Asian ppl do this it’s like “ohhhhhh sooooo immigrant, your family must have had to be so resourceful and struggle and all of that, that is so admirable”
and it’s like
“no bitch, my mom just didn’t want to spend money on a fucking slapchop so we learned how to use knives”
LMFAOOO SLAP CHOP